You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
