So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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