Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize