Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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