your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
