Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
