You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
