That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
