Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Randomize
