glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
where does the pee come out of this thing
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
