I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
time to smoke my breakfast
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize