i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
