i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize