what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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