On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
