Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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