We tried having a conversation with our noses.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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