He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
