I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
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