i just wanna soil my oats bro
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
