Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
thus making me awesome and them whores
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
i think im in europe. pls send help
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
