Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i came on her dog
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize