At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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