Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
