after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
