Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
