i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize