i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
