So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Is it because I queefed?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
