First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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