So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Your penis caused this!
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
