Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
