I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Come share oat with me in your robe
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Why is there bacon in the couch?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
