no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
