Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize