I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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