My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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