I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
