Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
