After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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