omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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