we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
