K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
