Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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