Welp...herpes.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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