You're so nebulous sometimes
I think i peed on brittanys purse
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
