If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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