imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
