just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
