her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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