wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
