I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
