he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
