I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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