I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
he fucked my hip out of place.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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