Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
