Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
How does one acquire holy water?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
