Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
