I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Randomize
