we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
