I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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