Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
false alarm, still single
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
